The (Mis)Adventures of Bessie Ballbreaker

(With apologies to Otis Redding)

I will be writing poetry next. I do love poetry and my poems would probably only be loved and read by the Gentle Giant.

What is it with butterflies in the stomach, the smile of the Cheshire Cat that makes one watch really bad romantic comedies and actually think they’re good. I’m putting Nick Cave on relentless repeat, I think people might see that I’m smiling from the behind. My productivity at work has slumped to an all-time low and never has staring blankly at my computer screen given me so much joy.

Next weekend the Gentle Giant will be visiting the Mother City, I’m counting the nights like when I was at (boarding) school and waiting for the holidays to start (this time around counting is just so much better!)

I’ve been neglecting putting word to screen.

Since my birthday 2 weeks ago life has moved into a fast-forward motion. A week ago this time I was waiting to get on a flight to the city of gold. It was an extremely impulsive decision (for me at least). Sometimes one has to wear one’s feelings upon one’s sleeve. It was the moment of truth that was long overdue (about 10 years).

My personal life has been in shambles. After a lack of male interest all of a sudden my life was filled with male interest. Usually I don’t know what to do when the moment strikes. I run away, say the wrong things, don’t see the interest etc. etc.

I’ve taken a plane to meet the love of my life. It took me 10 years to realise that my first love is maybe just my only love. 

We dated as students for 3 years - I left for London for 2 years and left him behind. Did some growing up and breaking up in-between. At that stage I believed that I was setting us free. In a way I did (we did). Through various relationships and break-ups we still were in contact. He’s the only person I could ever do that with and only leaving some of my stubbornness behind can I now see that I never stopped loving him.

This week I looked like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland and felt like him (slightly). I never ever thought I would feel this way again as I’m the greatest cynic when it comes to love.

Hopefully no ball-breaking this time, my love.

Can tick off the birthday for the year now. Had such a great time on Friday which fizzled out into a bit of a haze and then a total blackout.  Can remember I wanted to sleep next to my toilet. In winter without central-heating not the most comfortable and coziest place in the flat. Think I knocked my head against the sink in the process of snuggling up to the toilet.

The cherry on the cake was that I had to go to Spanish class at 10.30. I managed to drag myself out of bed and into the car (probably still slightly inebriated). When I got to the building the lift was broken which meant I had to carry my incapable body up 6 flights of stairs. Great! I actually turned around wanting to totally skip the class and bumped into the Clever Classmate. Well, up the 6 flights of stairs I went. My already white complexion didn’t help me much - survived class.

To redeem myself I’ve baked 60 cupcakes today - my lovely colleagues better enjoy them tomorrow. Especially the utterly sluttishly red velvet cupcakes. Don’t know why I’ve never baked them before, they’re going to be a show-stopper… yum!

I’ve been trying to clear my head whilst trying to dodge arrows, bullets, curve-balls, words. Instead I’m left with white noise. 

Nothing (please note: objects only) was damaged by me in the past few days. I hope to keep it that way until Friday at least.

Will be taking Friday and Monday off. A long weekend just for ME. Sleeping late, going to the movies (in daytime - in the week), getting my hair chopped, eating cake and drinking tea. Hitting Long Street with a camera if it doesn’t rain. Being a tourist in my own city. Maybe go up the Table with cable car (free on one’s birthday). Choices, choices…

Going to Haiku on Friday for dinner (for my birthday). Looking forward to it. Hope that their dim sum will live up to my expectations.

June has only started and July is just around the corner…

I must be punished by someone unknown car god.

Ten years of accident-free, non-mechanical problems and in 2 weeks I’ve got my bumper knocked and managed to leave my replacement car’s lights on (through screeching warning sounds) and almost miss Spanish Class Number 2.

Thank you people of the friendly neigbourhood that now have been parking in my apartment block’s alloted bays!

Thank you neighbour with shaven head for giving me lift - there truly still are some men in shining armour.

Oh, and in the meantime I’ve flooded my kitchen.

And before I break my mac and will be unable to send my words into cyberspace I will retreat to my couch with remote in one hand and a strong whiskey in the other.